


Late Night Thoughts

by Jellzu



Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types, DCU (Comics), Nightwing (Comics), Red Hood and the Outlaws (Comics)
Genre: Angst, Dick is trying, He wants to be with Jay, Jason just needs to stop over thinking, Jay is just...Jay, M/M, One sided, Pining, You could say
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-12
Updated: 2018-08-12
Packaged: 2019-06-26 06:01:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,706
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15657210
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jellzu/pseuds/Jellzu
Summary: Jason is a pining idiot who thinks too much. Dick tries but Jason pushes him away. All Jason ever does is run away. What’s the point of staying?





	Late Night Thoughts

There were times where Jason couldn't sleep. Whether it be because of his nightmares or that his mind dares to think about the 'what if' questions, he always found himself staring at the ceiling fan.

It wasn't that he forced himself to stay awake, though when he did have a bad dream, he would prefer to stay up. Images would flash against his eyelids if he even tried to get some rest, but that never worked.

That's how he found himself jumping across the rooftops of Gotham tonight. What better way to get rid of suppressed anger and anxiety than to beat up some people who deserved it?

The moon was high in the sky and the air was just a bit chilly. It was exactly what Jason needed to calm down. The adrenaline pumping through his veins helped too, but he just focused on his surroundings to keep himself grounded.

It was peaceful, it was what he needed. He needed to be alone, he needed to not think, he needed to be with himself.

He was always alone and he was used to it. Jason had to deal with the problem and he thought he dealt with it pretty damn well. That was included in the package of being the black sheep of the family.

However tonight, he could hear that insistent voice in his head saying that he wasn't. Saying that he didn't like be alone; didn't need to be.

He thought about that voice and his mind decided to indulge him with its calming presence. He could feel their touch and warmth. Their overly welcoming attitude just made him want to go and be with them.

That voice brought words to Jason's attention that he know weren't true.

"You don't have to do this to yourself. We are here for you. I'm here for you…"

He could only snort at the thought. He was sleep deprived, that's what this was. That person would never welcome him with open arms. He sure as hell wanted to be in their arms right now, but that is a possibility that could never happen.

The man with gorgeous blue eyes was in a relationship. This mysterious man who Jason became enamored with the moment he met his predecessor. The one he thought about on the cold lonely nights where he felt like he needed to break down. This man made him feel something and it scared the shit out of him. It made him long for something and Jason did not have time for that.

Why did he even let himself get lost in these nonsensical fantasies?

Because he was pathetic.

 

* * *

 

Most often than not, he always found himself here. In this crowded bar that was too noisy for his own liking that served mediocre food. It wasn't for a case, he wasn't there to meet someone, he just came here to be somewhere.

He liked to watch the people, creepy, yes, but he liked it. It gave his mind something else to do then let it entertain him with things that would never come.

But even after downing his sixth beer and some amounts of whiskey, his mind always envisioned those bright eyes staring at him like he had just seen them.

Maybe he would see them later in the night on the off chance this man would give Jason the courtesy of taking off his domino mask, but that was stupid. He was stupid.

He just up and left after paying his tab. Why was he even wasting his time?

 

* * *

 

Always expect the unexpected. An important life lesson he learned early on in life and something he has carried with him through the years.

Like tonight, he should have expected this, and to some degree, he did. But, well, you can't expect everything.

"You do realize what time it is…right?" A voice called out as a thump was heard in the background. Jason froze, this is seriously not what he needed right now. He didn't dignify the person with a response and simply took in a drag of his cigarette.

He heard the patter of footsteps make their way towards him as he saw a blur of black and blue hoist themselves up on the ledge to take a seat.

The man with the mask gave him a pointed look as he was about to say something, but Jason cut him off, letting out the smoke as he spoke. "It's part of the job description Goldie, just taking a break."

His companion pursed his lips and turned his head away in defeat. Jason felt a surge of pride as he got Dick to shut up this early on. Maybe this would be one of the times they just shared a comfortable silence. Yet, that was quickly taken away from him as the vigilante next to him plucked the cigarette out of Jason's hand and flicked it over the side of the building.

"Smoking kills Hood," He set his gaze upon Jason once more and the latter just wanted to rip that mask off to see the glowing eyes he stayed up thinking about.

He covered up his instincts however and glared at the man in front of him. "That costs money you know."

 

"Then quit. You'd be saving a lot." Dick and his easy going grin always made Jason feel a certain way and this moment was not helping.

"Fuck off 'wing. What are you even doing here?"

He only responded with a light shrug of his shoulders. "Am I not allowed to drop by?"

"You never drop by unless you want something"

Dick lifted a hand to his chest, "Oh you wound me Hood."

Jason had to suppress the snort he felt rise in the back of his throat. If he didn't let down his defenses, Dick would get the message and leave. That's what Jason wanted. He wanted to be alone.

"But I am serious…I was on my way back from patrol and saw you here," Dick looked straight ahead at the skyline, "Thought I'd check in. Been awhile since we've spoken."

It had been and Jason was ashamed to say he missed speaking with the former Robin.

"I'm fine as you can see. You can go now," He took a pack of cigarettes out of his pocket and shook one out.

Dick glanced at him from the side and let out a soft sigh. "Jay…"

He lit his cigarette and popped it into his mouth, staring ahead of himself.

The vigilante sat in his place for a few minutes before he decided to get up and go. He didn't forget to say a goodbye and throw Jason one of his smiles before swinging.

Jason thought that Dick threw his smiles around carelessly.

 

* * *

 

Bleeding out on rooftops had become a thing he could manage on his own. It happened few and far between, but he managed just fine.

Waking up in a strange room happened a little less often, but right after remembering what happened the night before?

Yea, it definitely was not what he thought it was. Disappointing really.

There was a moment of panic as Jason felt the softness of a mattress underneath him as well as blankets on top of himself. He kept his eyes closed, feigning being asleep as he assessed the situation.

First off, last night he got in over his head and took a couple of bullets and a knife to his right thigh.

Second, he knocked out all the perps and got onto a building to catch his breath.

Lastly, he remembers black and now he's where he is. Not much of a checklist, but it keeps him  _ here _ .

His body is on fire and obviously bandaged. So whoever brought him here had taken care of him. There was a possibility of not being in a hostile environment.

Once Jason had gotten that thought process taken care of, he calmed down a bit and enough to open his eyes. He definitely wasn't in one of his safe houses. The room was too much of a mess and too blue to be his. A million scenarios ran through his head, but he just convinced himself to file them away and look around for a weapon and his clothing.

Conveniently enough, none of that was around so he was forced to get out of bed and cautiously exit the room. He could overpower anyone who tried to mess with him and luckily they had the courtesy of leaving him in his boxers. What a nice person.

He walked down the hall, making sure to step lightly, as he entered what he assumed to be the living room. The only thing he got from this person is that a, they were stupid because they picked up some random guy and patched them up and b, they were a slob.

He finished his thought and paused, mumbling a soft curse as he reached up to touch his face.

Why did he just notice he wasn't wearing his helmet? Or his domino mask? No one even knows how to disarm his helmet, just how-

Jason shook his head. Push the thought away until you find who lives here dumbass.

That question was answered soon enough as he rounded the couch and found a sleeping Dick Grayson on it. He should've known and he felt a bit stupid for not guessing it was him. But why would Dick even pick him up and take him to his own home? How'd he even find Jason?

Wait, better question, where was his stuff?

He could gush about his experience later, this was all not important. He just wanted to leave. He needed to leave and that meant he getting his stuff.

Wherever his stuff was…

By the time Dick awoke Jason was gone and Dick didn't know what to do, but he felt more disappointed than mad that the younger had left.

 

* * *

 

Some nights, Jason stuck to the shadows and observed, others he was a lot more active.

Tonight? All he saw were those blue eyes burning in the back of his mind as he pushed away any semblance of want. He'd never have that, especially with Dick. What was the point?

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Hey, hope you liked it. I wrote this at 3 am to break my writers block and I haven't written in sooo long. Again, hope you enjoyed this short fic.


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